"If anyone gives you any trouble, you just tell me.
I can't do anything to help, but please tell me anyway."
"He kept just repeating 'Islamabad...Islamabad', and they didn't seem to like it", an eyewitness said.
*Or at least as good.
Where to begin? The combination of near-Nazi levels of hatred for just about everyone ("Ginger people, does the world need them?", "The Polish - why?") and creepy musings on the rival attributes of female GMTV presenters ("Andrea McLean - best looking GMTV bird?", "Kate Garraway vs Penny Smith") is awesome. He's also disabled, not that that excuses anything.
"I've joined a group of traveling carnival folk based in Norfolk"
Russia invades Georgia - "Is The Wire the best TV show ever?"
Britain wins record Olympic medal haul - "Why The Wire is the best TV show ever"
Gary Glitter released from prison - "The Wire, The Wire, the Wire!"
Former US president Bill Clinton has finally been declared free of the venereal diseases that plagued him through the 90s.
"I love everyone, and would do absolutely anything for them. That even includes anyone who's thinking about drinking me"
You could say I'm on cloud eight
They told him to "try to make the war sound really sad", the young Austrian says; "play up the generals you lost and stuff".
Producers Talkback Thames have totally denied the incident ever happened.
"I'm just so honest, sometimes it gets me into trouble"
August 2008: Over 17 years after he first penned his record breaking hit,"Everything I do, (I do it for you)", Canadian soft rocker Bryan Adams still wants every member of the general public to know that everything he does, he still very much does for you, in general terms.
He feels that in recent years sales have dwindled, and everyone should be reminded of the sincere promise he made.
"I' ve just been to Goa for two months, and in October I'm off to Cuba for a year"
"I went off it when I was younger, but now I love this herb again"