The BBC are dusting off the old Noel's House Party format and reinventing it for a new generation. TV bosses feel that due to the credit crunch and tough times in the real world, what people really need is more upbeat light entertainment magic from down Crinkly Bottom way.
However,a problem has presented itself in Noel Edmonds' increasingly strange behaviour on Noels HQ, not to mention his refusal to pay the TV license.
So now bosses are scratching their head, wondering which other celebrity Noel could step into Edmonds' size 10 shoes. A shortlist has now been drawn up, that includes:
Noel Gallagher, Rock star (5/1)
Pros: Dry sense of humour, cool big name guests.
Cons: Might chin Blobby.
Noel Fielding, Comedian (30/1)
Pros: Exuberance and energy.
Cons: Bit of a nob.
Noel Clarke, Actor & Writer (50/1)
Pros: A positive young role model.
Cons: Not very good with scripted banter.
Noel Godin, Notorious Belgian pie flinger (100/1)
Pros: Good with gunge.
Cons: Not very famous.
THE COLD DEAD EYES OF A KILLER
Georgian Eurovision entry mocks Putinhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7899014.stm
By "Katie Price's husband" Peter Andre
But then Katie phoned and demanded I come and pick her up in the car from her photoshoot in Manchester, and I realised that this 7 hour round trip was going to totally break up my creative flow in the studio, where I was really beginning to release some magic. So I phoned up the first clone and asked him to quickly clone himself while he was on the way to the shops.
As the second clone was a clone of the first, it meant he did appear a little slow and stupid, which potentially could be a problem. But Katie never lets me get a word in anyway, so I sent him off in the Porsche while I laid down the funk in the studio. Then I was in the middle of singing some smooth grooves when I realised that I really needed to go pee. I'd been drinking Ribena all morning, so it was really no surprise. Clone 1 was off at the shops, 2 was on the road to Manchester, and -1 (me) was crafting some sweet soul music that would make Mick Hucknall jealous! There was only one thing for it - phone 2 and get him to clone himself, then send the clone back here to take a piss for me.
Unfortunately, 3 was a clone of a clone of a clone, and so it came back and went mad and tried to fight Harvey, but lost. And I still needed a piss! Insania!