"When I thought about brave Jade, I was awash with grief...so I thought I'd have a wash in this handy hot tub"
Come on! I'm sure together we can all get this to number two!
"I haven't taken cocaine in years"
On International Women's Day, a load of prehistoric banter
I'm a special performer
By Phil Collins
Don't even try to stop me. It's too late. I'm retiring. I'm just too old to matter anymore.
What's that you say?
"Please Phil, don't go - we still need you. We love you"?
Oh, you were just coughing.
I'm off. This is it.
See you later.