NEW MANCHESTER UNITED PLAYER HAS 400 NICKNAMES
"Diablorino"
Mexican footballer Javier "Chicorito" Hernandez has certainly made a big impression since joining Manchester United in the summer. The young boy wonder, also known as "Little Pea", "Lil' Quan", "Pezo" and "Picorino" is fast establishing himelf as a United legend.
"Aye, Little Javi is a great footballer", Sir Alex Ferguson agreed, "I'm glad I bought Pobolino".
Gary Neville agrees - "Chico's so talented, I've rarely seen such skill as Ocho Momo shows out there".
Even legend Sir Bobby Charlton had something to say. "I love little Taco", he cried.
The fans also love Pablo, as some affectionately call him, but so far cannot decide on just one nickname to build a terrace chant around.
LORD SUGAR SENDS MESSAGE TO BRITISH COUPLE JUST RELEASED BY SOMALI PIRATES
"Buy my book. I've got loads of followers on twitter"
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
Are YOU the fire extinguisher wielding hero who saved countless lives with his quick thinking actions at Thursday's student demonstration in London? If so, come forward NOW for a massive reward.
This handsome hero rushed into action when he thought he saw a small fire breaking out on the ground, 20 storeys below him, and, without thinking of his own safety, grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher and hurled it down to the crowds below, to help extinguish the flame.
It is often said of the younger generation that they lack heroes. But look at that strong, bovine jaw, that cheeky, rakish smile, that casual brown jacket - this is our generation's Winston Churchill.
Arise, Sir Student on Roof - your time has come.
