CLIMATE CHANGE CAUSES A LEVEL RESULTS TO BLOSSOM 5 MONTHS EARLY
"I got straight A's!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Shit, it's freezing out here"
TWEED: I WASN'T BEING DISRESPECTFUL
"When I thought about brave Jade, I was awash with grief...so I thought I'd have a wash in this handy hot tub"
GEORGE MICHAEL ASKS FANS TO HELP HIM DO A POO ON TWITTER
Come on! I'm sure together we can all get this to number two!
CONVICTED PAEDOPHILE APOLOGISES FOR 'GIGANTIC ERROR OF JUDGEMENT' IN LENDING FERGIE £15,000
"This is deeply embarrassing...What was I thinking?"
DARK BEIGE RADIO: PODCAST 26 - DO ME A FAVOUR, LOVE
On International Women's Day, a load of prehistoric banter
THAT'S IT - I'M RETIRING
I'm a special performer
By Phil Collins
Don't even try to stop me. It's too late. I'm retiring. I'm just too old to matter anymore.
What's that you say?
"Please Phil, don't go - we still need you. We love you"?
Oh, you were just coughing.
Fuck you.
I'm off. This is it.
Bye then.
I'm off.
See you later.
I'm retiring.
