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St Joseph's Primary School, Wolverhampton - New 8 year old autistic pupil Mark Stevens has been blasted as a total diappointment by teachers hoping to experience up close some of the magic seen in other autistic people in popular cultural phenomena like Channel Five documentaries, Rain Man and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. "He's a bit of a tit" said one unnamed teacher. "I was expecting him to be able to draw a map of the town based on one brief walk, or maybe paint a Picasso from scratch fuelled only by a bottle of Yazoo. Instead he just sat there quietly, looking a bit weird".


Another teacher added "He does hum a bit, which made me think he might be a musical genius, but alas no, he hasn't written any symphonies yet. And the art teacher told me he's no better than an average 12 year old at painting. That's a litle advanced, fine, but it hardly means we should get on the blower to Tate Modern, does it?"


Worst effected is the maths teacher, Mr Crane. "I am absolutley gutted that this freak shows absolutely no sign of being able to bring down the stock exchange, or even a local casino", he said. "Who the fuck does the little prick think he is?"


An emergency meeting has been called by staff to decide whether young Mark should be expelled, in punishment for the high levels of disappointment felt by all the staff at his failure at being a creative genius. It seems only fair.