dark beige

Levi, West London: "I were down in B and Q the other day and I noticed that a basic claw hammer has gone up from £6.99 to £9.99 overnight. That mean I either have to cut down on killings or start using other equipment, i.e. child's cricket bat or wooden post."




Panthro, Thundera: "I've noticed that the cost of basketballs, Lilt and Ja Rule albums have increased in price threefold. I ain't happy"




Mark, Croydon: "Due to the increased price of hotel rooms because of the credit crunch, more attractive young girls are having to sleep in their front gardens. It's been great for me!"






Kerry, Wilmslow: "People keep saying I'm on cocaine, but I'm not. I'm just bi polar. That's why I'm always sniffing and gurning"





Jesus, Nazareth: "In the old days, I could use my mystical powers to feed 5000 people from just 5 loaves and 2 fishes. With the current economic squeeze, I can now only feed 3700"