Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 13:04

London's number one party bear tells us about his crazy week!

Coo-ee!! It's me again, Bi Polar, the big carnivorous bear and party scene regular who likes to chow on both meat and fish, if you know what I mean!

This week's been crazy for me. On Monday I was DJing at the Cuckoo Club, where stars including Roger Moore, Pixie Geldof and "Mr corpse rape defence" Mark Dixie (crazy guy, crazy pout!) were throwing shapes, while The Horrors' Farris Rotter ladeled out cold oxtail soup and E4's Nick Grimshaw wanked into his own mouth.

Tuesday saw the launch of the new Kenco Rappor 500g jars, with the great and the good of the party scene all descending on Chinawhite's for a Turkish themed night of hip hop madness! Orlando Bloom got down and dirty on the floor, flirting with Sadie Frost, Shannon Matthews and a certain fluffy white bear! That's right ladies and gents, me and Mr Bloom did have a few intimate lambadas, but what with my mixed up ways, I also had the hots for Sadie! And although we were indoors in a warm nightclub, by the end of the evening there was Frost on the ground if you know what I mean!

Thursday was a casino themed night to raise awareness of the dangers of gambling addiction. I got chatting to my new best galpal, model of the moment Agyness Dein, while Joan of Arc took on croupier responsibilities! Jaime Winstone and boyf Alfie Allen were there too, hiding poker chips in each others orifices!

Then on Friday I was headlining at the Mint club, for the launch of the new Vodafone pay-as-you-go tariff. Not being rude guys, but what was Lisa Scott Lee doing there? She hasn't had a hit in years! She's not shy in the bedroom, though - and nor's her hunky fella!!!!!!!

This week Bi Polar likes: The new Toyota Rav4, Gillette Mach3, Terminator 2 and The Brave One

He hates: Rudeness, chocolate pennies and Ken Livingstone


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