dark beige

By Roland Gift of the Fine Young Cannibals

Alright guys! Hull's finest soul singer here, AKA Roland Gift ("Giftie" to my friends).

Some people have commented on how it's ironic that my name's Roland Gift, as I am so gifted, a bit like with Geoge Best being the best (after Pele). Well, all I can say is I've heard Pele trying to do a falsetto and it was fucking shit.

Back in the late 80s, me and my band The Fine Young Cannibals were major players in the pop scene; what one clever hack described on his blog as the "Proto Lighthouse Family" (no offence Tunde mate, but you could never hit my high notes, metaphorically or literally!)

Alas, tastes stupidly change and despite still being a massive hit at any 80s night, the modern era thought it had moved on.

But now we're back. But - we're still moving with the times. Time waits for no man, as I'm sure the Johnny Hates Jazz boys could tell you!




I have an incredible suggestion: one that I know is going to be amazing. It combines nostalgia and feelgood old time vibes with the ever present threat of paedophile abductions: ergo, everyone's a winner.

What I'm suggesting is taking our classic 1989 number 5 hit, "She Drives Me Crazy" and rewording it for the year 2008 (or at least 7), making it "She Drives Me Maddie", to take into account the sad and terrible case of Madeleine McCann, and her parents Kate and Jerry, who look like they could do with a good dance.

Some have said that this suggestion is crude and vulgar, but to them I say: "Fuck you".

I have already spoken to the Daily Express about giving the single away free on a Saturday, and things are looking good. I hope that you will join me in buying that issue; I know the Express is really shit but at least it keeps Diana off the front page and confined to pages 2 through 20 for just one day.

I'm counting on you, soul brother.