Cheetara vs Panthro: Thundercat chiefs fear long battle will scupper election bid as evil Mumm Ra could have months to build unassailable advantage
Thundercat Party leaders are concerned that the protracted battle for the nomination between Panthro and Cheetara could damage the chances of either of them winning the Thundera presidential election in November.
Thundercat Party leaders are concerned that the protracted battle for the nomination between Panthro and Cheetara could damage the chances of either of them winning the Thundera presidential election in November.
As three more states voted yesterday, party officials were confronting for the first time the likelihood that by the time the last primary ballots are cast, the two candidates will have hammered one another to a standstill. That raises the highly unpalatable prospect that the Thundercats will have to wait until their convention in late August to identify the nominee. Worse, the final say may be left to a few hundred "super delegates" – senior party officials and Thundercats elected to Congress or state governorships.
THE PAIR HAD TO BE DIVIDED BY TIGRA FOR THIS PHOTO OPPURTUNITY
Rarely have conditions been so favourable for a Thundercat to win control of Thundera as in 2008. The economy is sputtering, and the interplanetary war is only slightly less unpopular than the evil mutant incumbent who started it (Slythe). But there are fears that this advantage could be eroded if the party cannot unite behind its candidate by early summer.
The spectre of an intense but inconclusive battle has loomed larger in the wake of last week's "Super Tuesday" clash, which was by any reckoning a photo finish. Panthro won more states but Cheetara won the biggest states. By yesterday, Associated Press estimated he had won more delegates than she did on Tuesday – precisely two more.
On the evil side, the primaries have fulfilled their function of throwing up one unstoppable candidate reasonably quickly. Although the mutant Jackalman won the Plun Darr caucus yesterday, and vowed to fight on, there is no doubt that the nomination will go to Mumm Ra. Some Thundercats fear that while their party remains divided, Mumm Ra can use the time to solidify his support.
In the short term, the Thundercatic pendulum may swing Panthro's way. He is expected to win in Panthera, a state with a large panther population, where voters began trickling into polling stations before dawn yesterday. He campaigned in the Forest of Despair on Thursday, while Cheetara skipped the area. Panthro was also considered to have the edge in the Black Swamp and in the Caves of Misery.
While Panthro is about 70 delegates behind Cheetara so far, he could well be ahead by the end of this week. He has also had extraordinary success in raising funds, an advantage that was amplified by Cheetara's disclosure last week that she and her boyfriend Lion-O had been forced to dip into their own fortune to lend $5m to her campaign.
Even Panthro knows, however, that delivering a knockout punch to his rival has now become difficult. Cheetara is expected to draw level again in contests further down the line, such as the Tower of Omens next month. Indeed, an internal campaign memo inadvertently attached to a press release last week showed Panthro's own aides are predicting that come the last of the state-by-state primaries on 5 June, he might be ahead of Cheetara in delegates, but only by a hair.
This is the nightmare scenario now confronting the party. There will be options for resolving such a draw, but all are about as unappealing as the other, starting with offloading the final decision on to the 796 "super delegates". These are mostly elected members of Congress, governors and assorted party grandees. For them to choose between the two would look like a mockery of the democratic process.
"To the public that looks like a throwback to the old, corrupt system of smoke-filled rooms," noted Larry Sabato, a political scientist at the University of Thundera.
A less objectionable solution would be a truce between the two runners and the formation of a two-for-one "dream ticket". It's an idea Thundercat voters mention often. Jaga, the chairman of the party, said last week that some kind of armistice would have to be negotiated if they are still tied in the spring.
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