Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 22:21

Ben Elton today set the theatre world ablaze with his announcement that he is again going to write a musical based around the hit songs of an iconic British music act.

First came 70s rockers Queen and the musical We Will Rock You, which opened in 2003 and is now seen all around the world in many major cities, an enormous money spinner.

Tonight's the Night, based on the music of Rod Stewart, hasn't hit the same heights but still generated over £45m in ticket sales. So naturally, many want to know which iconic act Elton will turn his attention to next. Elton John? The Rolling Stones? Maybe even The Who?

Eyebrows were raised and beards carefully sculpted at the announcement that his chosen act, however, will be Southampton soul sensation Craig David, in What's Your Flava?.

"We've gone from Bo Rhap to Bo! Selector!" the former funnyman quipped. "Yet again, it's a marriage between Elton and David, but no-one's going to be having a reach around, if you know what I mean!"

Again, following the format he laid out in We Will Rock You (that many others have also successfully aped, it should be noted), Elton has weaved David's most popular hits into a clever storyline that allows him to feature all the recognisable songs.

Elton outlined the plot: "The story involves a young couple, Tom and Jess, who live in a strange land called Flavaville. People must greet each other by asking 'What's Your Flava?", on pain of death. One day Tom forgets to say the greeting to a local nobleman, and is told he has just 7 Days to Live. Tom knows that there is only one way he can escape his death, and quickly sends Jess away, arranging to Rendezvous later.

We see Jess tearfully Walking Away, while Tom meets up with a freedom fighter and arranges to hide by being disguised by invisible pen. "Fill Me In" he instructs the fighter, and after this is successfully done, Tom rushes off to meet Jess.

But Jess has been cast under the spell of a dangerous Spanish man with a Hidden Agenda. He plans to kill her through dehydration, by using mind control techniques to convince her "You Don't Miss Your Water (Til the Well Runs Dry)".

Tom is outraged as he knows that This is the Girl (feat Kano), so knows he has to go All the Way to release Jess from the spell and take her away to a World Filled With Love.

Still invisible, Tom sneaks into the Spaniard's cave and whispers to Jess "Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)" which stirs deep emotions in her, as her soul tries to break the curse, fuelled by its apparent heartbreak. But the curse is strong and her energy levels Rise and Fall (featuring Sting).

Tom sees that he really has Woman Trouble (feat Robbie Craig), so he freezes time and says Re-rewind and goes back to the start of the story, preventing it from ever happening (?).

Tom calls Jess Hot Stuff and declares himself "Officially Yours".

It's going to be a real blast!"

Tickets have already sold out, despite not yet going on sale.


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