dark beige

By Petri Hawkins Bird, bailiff from Judge Judy

It's been eleven long years now, over 800 hours and over 7000 cases we've heard together, Judy.

And in all that time, I've never spoken over nine consecutive words. Do you have some problem with me? Some reason why I never do anything more than introduce the defendants and hand you papers?

Couldn't you just let me intervene on a particularly impassioned case with a bold, stirring soliloquy? Or express my anger at the defendant in a series of blows to his head?

Or anything, really. Couldn't I just pretend someone has double parked in a disabled space and we need to move it pronto?

Something? Please?

Aah, shit.