dark beige

In-fighting between two much loved comedy duos has led to a brand new third way, as Tommy Cannon and Eddie Large have dropped their comic other halves (Bobby Ball and Syd Little) and moved in together.

The pair first met backstage at a royal variety show in 1983, but maintained a cool professional distance as their double acts were contracted to rival networks. Nevertheless, it seems that the seeds of attraction were sown, and the two admired each other's shtick from afar for a long time.

There were clues to the two's secret, forbidden love affair in 1991, when in a TV Times interview, Cannon was asked what other comedians he admired. "That Eddie Large...there's something about him", he ominously warned.

As their respective careers dwindled, the two started to meet once a month for a coffee at Knutsford service station in Cheshire, perhaps a little like the gay cowboys in Brokeback Mountain.

At that time, Large was gripped by an overwhelming sense of self-doubt; things got so bad that he even had an orgy with comedians Punt and Dennis, Alexander Armstrong and Jennifer Saunders, leading to the group briefly considering reforming as Punt, Dennis, Armstrong, Saunders and Large (AKA "5 Pack"), while they shared a crack cocaine high.

Tommy Cannon was less extravagant, but still felt increasingly unhappy as he came to terms with the fact that he just didn't love Bobby Ball in the way he used to.

Finally, things came to a head earlier this year, when at a Butlins variety night, the two pairs briefly shared a dressing room and Cannon and Large were caught kissing passionately by a shocked Jeanette Krankie.

"I love Eddie", Cannon told gathering journalists as the scandal broke, "he's my rock. Bobby knows it's over".