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By David Gannon, the man who finds the music for ITV1's Heartbeat

I love my job finding 60s music to accompany the onscreen action on Heartbeat. The simple guiding principle that the lyrics of the song must always describe the events unfolding as literally as humanly possible is one that has inspired me onto greater and greater literal heights, culminating in my career defining moment of glory in 2005, when onscreen a ne'erdowell young hippy type stole an apple from a tree, accompanied by the little known Herman's Hermits B-side, "Who's that hippy scrumping apples from my tree?".



But now sadly in an attempt to boost ailing ratings, the powers that be have decided upon a hard hitting rape storyline featuring little Alice Mulligan, and muggins here was charged with finding the music to accompany the harrowing scene.

However, for the first time in my 17 year career, I'm stumped. I can't find any Merseybeat or skiffle hit featuring lyrics about a sex assault, and I'm even considering using Danny and the Doves' classic hit "I've been attacked", which isn't really satisfactory for a number of reasons, not least the incorrect tense used. Alice is being attacked, she's not telling someone about it later as the song suggests (God is in the details!).

It's a bit of a pain, but I might still find something. I'm just standing here, not knowing what to do, which would look even better if Gerry and the Pacemakers' "Just standing here, not knowing what to do" was playing over the top.