By Jason Voorhees
Normally if I saw some handsome young jerk making frantic love to some hot cheerleader, I'd end up using something like a harpoon or hacksaw to gut him before beheading her. But you know what? Today I just don't feel like it.
Then I'd move onto that kooky glasses wearing stoner that wondered off over there, and as he stumbled around looking for his dropped glasses in the dark, I'd stand there so he'd knock against me, before ripping his heart out with my bare hands. But there's something about that geeky kid, about all of these obnoxious young pals, that I like.
I don't know what it is, but there's just something charming about this latest bunch. The jock is a little less moronic, the bitch is a little less slutty. The angry ethnic minority is a pretty chilled out guy!
I don't think I'm going to use this machete on them after all. Might just go and kill a dog or something, satisfy the old blood lust.
These guys are all welcome at Camp Crystal Lake any time.
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