In collaboration with Newsifact: http://newsifact.blogspot.com/
Look out for the explosive new book that finally lifts the lid on Connery's famous technique for correctly striking a female, be they life partner, total stranger, or young child.
Connery famously outlined the correct circumstances that would lead him to hit a woman in a 1987 interview, with strict clauses such as "use an open hand" and "try everything else" first. Connery's strictest guideline of all though, was that the woman in the case "just won't leave it alone".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Xj3N-IYbU
Many wife beaters took influential Connery's words as Bible and carried on their domestic abuse to his rigid code.
But now the Scottish tax exile has broken his silence to reveal much more about his guidelines, specifying details and clearing up a few common misunderstandings that he says have blighted the sport of wife beating in recent years.
Connery's further commandments include:
* The palm must always be raised to 67 degrees - anything more than 70 is totally unacceptable.
* The sun must not be shining within your eye line when you strike, for fear of being further enraged by the temporary blindness.
* When judging whether she just won't leave it alone, ask her clearly if she will leave it alone at least three times.
* Breathe in and count to one to make sure you definitely want to go through with it.
* Make sure you have a hot milky drink and blanket ready for the aftermath.
* If any mention at all is made of Scottish independence or UK tax laws, strike first and ask questions later.
Apparently US musician Chris Brown has already bought three copies.
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