Everyone's favourite outspoken jeans wearer is back, socking it to more PC nonsense and namby pamby vegetarianism!
Now don't whisper it too loudly, as I don't want the wife to hear, but sometimes I get a bit fed up of it all and just want to get away for a few days and be all on my own. Just me, a great motor, some Chris Rea CDs and the open road.
Last year I got away to the Gower peninsula in Wales, but there were a few too many leek munching Daffyds for my liking. So this time I reckon I'm going to go out to Iraq, and tear it up out in the desert.
"But wait!", I hear you cry, "Clarkson, are you mad?". Yes, I am, but that's another story. The anti-car brigade have seen to that. But there's NOTHING mad about taking a holiday in Iraq, because it's NOT AT ALL DANGEROUS.
Like you, I hear the papers bleating on about another soldier's death almost every day, and at first I thought it did sound pretty bad. But I've looked into it, and I reckon it's just more doom mongering from the same bed wetters that keep moaning on about global warming and rape.
Yeah, so a few soldiers have died, but so what? Cancer killed more people than the Iraq conflict last year, and I'm not suddenly going to consider giving up fags. For all we know, half those deaths could have been due to accidents or hereditary diseases, and the rest from elaborate suicides.
Sorry, but until I see firm evidence of a serious raging conflict out there in the "Middle East", and hear first hand testimonials from the supposed "loved ones" of "dead soldiers" who have had to "pick up the pieces" (have an aspirin and go to bed, that should do you right), I'm booking the next flight to Baghdad.
TWEET THIS!
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