Tom Cruise has been an icon of American cinema for over 25 years, in an unprecedentedly successful career, but sadly in recent years his Scientology outbursts, creepy relationship and the onset of middle age have led to his star dwindling for the first time.
Bosses at Paramount have been concerned at their prize cash cow running dry of milk, and have searched for a solution. With Lions for Lambs and Valkyrie both flopping at the box office, drastic measures are clearly called for.
So now, inspired by the successful "re-boots" of franchises like Batman and Friday the 13th, they want to take Cruise back to the beginning of his career and start again, but in a fresher, more realistic and darker take on the source material that reinvents the Cruise legend for a new generation.
Handsome young actor Dan Brady, 17, has been cast in the central Cruise role, and the re-imagined career will begin back with Risky Business, Cruise's first lead role and box office hit.
Studio president Allen Sarkenhauser explained: "The new Cruise will thrill a modern generation who may not be fully aware of how great and popular Tom's early films were, hits like Top Gun, Cocktail and Rain Man. But not Far and Away. Never Far and Away. We think this new generation will grow up with Cruise's re-worked body of work, just like the last did. A whole new bunch of kids will want to become barmen!"
The original Cruise hasn't been totally cut out of the picture, however - he'll still be popping up for the occasional cameo in the remakes, and will really help make any film featuring his character suddenly aging by 30 years incredibly believable.
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