Hi, I'm Branton Chadwick, seminar optimizer and personal potential maximizer extraordinaire. As some of the regular readers here may know, I recently discovered my wife cheating on me with my brother Carlton, in what was the toughest moment in my life since I narrowly missed out on the "King of Seminars" award in 2003, losing out to none other than that snake in the grass Bantley Screnaheim. Sorry, Scrantley Benaheim. Sometimes I get so angry, I forget his name.
Well, the time since has been real tough, and there were times there where I wasn't even sure that an uplifting epigram that hijacked some popular notion to further prove the underlying truth of good business practice was enough for my life. This was not helped by hearing about my nemesis Scrantley Benaheim, that no-good fake life coach, back on the scene, and peddling a false seminar of shit.
Crazy, dangerous times, that have thankfully passed. As I sat at the bar of my local TGI Fridays last week, I knew that I'd turned the corner, and was ready to love again. Not because I met a girl that night, I didn't; there were one or two fine fillies there, but I wasn't in the mood for THAT.
No, because I met a young guy at the bar called Chip Menagan. Chip's just 19, and he's a handsome young buck with an eye for the ladies, but a heart for business. As soon as I met him, I felt like I'd met myself - 20 years ago. Meeting this boisterous young buck with a heart full of spreadsheets and a head full of truisms, I felt truly inspired to put down that slice of fattening, heart clogging self pity pie, and pick up an energy enhancing optimized seminar shake.
Now I'm back with a vengeance, and so raring to go that on Friday night, sitting at home bored, I flew to Tampa to attend a seminar, just on a whim. It wasn't even relevant! It was about making the most money in a fast food franchise, but still, it helped. Even better, when I was there I met a girl called Amy Rose who's got a body to die for, and a mind to max.
This girl KNOWS business, believe me, and knows more than anyone I've ever met (besides myself) about the best way to get people motivated - with totally uplifitng thoughts and feelings.
Don't take MY word for it - check out this little hottie's Twitter account!
Some amazingly uplifting highlights, that say it all:
* Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
* Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
* Generous people are rarely mentally ill people
* Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity.
* You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership.
* If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.
* Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.
* Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure.
* No, I never did get lost, but I was bewildered for three days once.
* The time is always right to do what is right.
* The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes but in having new eyes.
* Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
* You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.
* I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.
And finally, the line that sums her and this whole amazing industry up:
* If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I LOVE this girl!
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