PAUL BETTS
You can't be careful when it comes to music. For one thing, it's so-called 'music' that a lot of kids listen to when they're dangerously off their head on ecstasy tablets, and for another, it's these very songs that can often promote an at first harmless seeming but actually very dangerous notion that kids should in some way 'get up' and 'party'. And just look what happened to my Leah when she listened to that.
As people should hopefully know by now (if not, where have you been for the last 14 years?), if there's one thing I firmly stand against, it's partying. That's why I wrote my book, "The Party's Over: Life Without Leah", and why I'm already devoting my life to breaking up parties wherever I see them, in case anyone dies (http://darkbeige.blogspot.com/2009/08/paul-betts-terry-lubbock-ultimate.html).
But the sad truth is, I can't be everywhere at once, no matter how hard I try. And believe me, I've really tried. That's why I need YOU to be a little more vigilant, and just pay a bit more attention to the tracks you listen to on your 'iPods' - dangerous little things, a bit like ecstasy pills.
Here are just a few that I've unearthed, that you need to be careful of:
* S Club 7, S Club Party - You might think that these four sexy sluts and three gays are going to invite you to the best party ever, but they're not.Believe me.
* Eddie Murphy, Party All the Time - Party all the time? This guy is DANGEROUS! Stay away. Don't let 15 years of bland family films fool you, neither - once a party animal, always one.
* Snoop Dogg, Life of the Party - Shizzle my nizzle, fizzle on a whizzle - stay away.
* Bloc Party, Helicopter - Bit of a curveball here: party is in the band's name, not the song title, and they're really shit. Still, you know what to do (steer clear).
* Pink, Get the Party Started - Don't be tempted to start a party with this spiky haired punk popstrel, no matter what you think about what she'd be like in bed - she's dangerous!
Seriously, it's dangerous out there. I can only do so much.
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