BRANTON CHADWICK: I'M CLOSING IN ON SCRANTLEY BENAHEIM

Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 18:35



Remember I told you about my arch nemesis Scrantley Benaheim? The no-good shyster who pretends to be a 'business interface optimizer', but actually couldn't host a seminar if his life depended on it?

Well, last night I was just knocking back and enjoying happy hour at TGI Fridays with my two best 'seminar pals' Dalton Bochek and Chip Lanagan, when who should we see but the legendary Scrogan Teal, who Dalton knows from way back running business seminars in Pittsburgh. Scrogan's all amped up and really hyped, saying he had just seen the greatest business potential optimizer of his life at a seminar across town! At first we were naturally all excited and kind of optimized by just being in his presence. It's like I always say in my seminars - optimism spreads. Give a smile and you gain a mile.

Anyway, Dalton ordered us all a round of jagermeisters and we got Scrogan a chair and told him just to kick back, take a load off, and tell us about this new maximizing cat. Scrogan told us this guy calls himself the "optimum optimizer" (why didn't I think of that?), and he's young and handsome and full of spunk. He's got a heart full of hope and a blackberry full of dreams, a spring in his step and a wink in his eye! Apparently, when this guy talks about maximizing potential, you really believe him.

Well, I was so excited about what Scrogan said, I felt a little dizzy, so I begged him to tell us the guy's name.



You just know what's coming - It was Scrantley 'Bogus' Benaheim! That charlatan had even hoodwinked Scrogan Teal! I knew I had to bring this wise ass conman to justice once and for all, so I hightailed it out of that bar and across town to the seminar centre, but by the time I got there, it was all locked up, and he had gone. The caretaker told me that they're running the same seminar again next week, so now all I have to do is sit and wait.

This is your final seminar, Benaheim. I'm coming for you. And I am actually going to minimize your potential.


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