Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 22:08

Good...and EVIL

The Time: 10.00AM, Thursday September 10th

The Place: The South Wacoma Seminar Centre

The Event: A date with destiny.

Remember how I told you that I'd manage to track down my arch nemesis, the evil Scrantley Benaheim, through a tip off from Scrogan Teal?

Well, today was the day that I was gonna cash in the cheque of hatred I hold in my heart for him. It was ironic that it was 9/10, as this was very much my 9/11. I woke at five this morning and couldn't get back to sleep; I felt sick with expectation.I'd actually had a weird nightmare where I was an extra limb on my mom's body, which did not help, and I blamed Benaheim again.

I arrived early for the seminar - some garbage about "Maximizing potential with the optimum optimizer, Scrantley Benaheim" and when I saw that name up on the sign, I suddenly felt overcome with nausea, and I had to take a moment to stop myself being sick. Buying a ticket, I filed in and took a seat somewhere in the middle of the auditorium, where I knew I wouldn't stick out. I wanted Benaheim to be lured into a false sense of security, before I pounced and exposed him for the charlatan he truly is.

Now, you might be asking yourself "But Branton is always so positive and uplifting, what could have made him so unlike himself? What has this Scrantley Benaheim done?" Well, to answer that, I need to take you back to June 13th, 2005, and the Potential Maximum Seminar meet in Wichita, Kansas.

It was the end of a long day of seminars and workshops and I was a little optimized out if truth be told, and I was just grabbing a cup of Joe with some other seminees (the plural of seminar goers), when this young guy pushed in ahead of me in the queue. I was a little grumpy because I'd had a long day, so I told this wiseass to stop trying to cut in and get to the back of the line.

Then he tells me that we're always so busy worrying about who's pushing ahead of us, we don't realise what we're pushing behind us - opportunity. He said cutting in is just a way of saying that you expect the best, and that we should all cut in the queue of life to gran the freshest bagels life can serve. "You don't want to miss the best bagels, do you?" he said, with a knowing smile and a wink, then grabbed his coffee and left, deftly patting a business card into my top pocket.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Benaheim ever since. At first it was admiration at his sharp suit, good looks and arresting gaze, but soon it grew to hate of his arrogant blowhard persona and smug winks.

Four years on, I want to kill him. And today would be my day...



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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous Said,

    The pictures are actually cracking me up.

    Posted on 11 September 2009 at 00:06


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