By Vinnie Jones
RIP Dennis Hopper. Dirty Den, Dennis the Menace, Denny, Den, Big D, the Hoppernator. These are all names I never called you because we never met - but I still feel like we're the best of mates. After all, we're BOTH Hollywood royalty, wild hellraisers from different generations who are united by our respect for this great noble art of acting.
I'm amazed you never came round for a kickabout with lads like Dusty Hoffman, Ally Pacino, Bobby Duvall (Bald Bobby I call him!) or Geney Hackman. I even let that lesbo Streepy have a kickabout once!
Now I guess you're taking corners in heaven, while raising hell in, erm, hell. RIP big man. Go fast, Easy Rider, take the road at Speed. Erm...those are the only films of yours I know, sorry. You weren't really very famous.
Anyway, why did you never come round for a kickabout? Do you think you're too good or something? You fucking cunt. I'm a legend! Star of Legend of the Bog, infact. Who are you? Some old nobody. You don't even deserve to go in goal (that's Tommy Berenger's job).