Ageless star invents a time machine - then travels back to the 50s, to fuck himself!
Congratulations! That's what many fans are saying to Cliff Richard today, toasting his success at being the first man ever to successfully travel through time, and using that incredible gift to go back in time to the 50s, track down his younger, rakish self, and have sex with the Living Doll.
Sir Cliff's been on a Bummer Holiday, away from any Devil Woman, just him, his young self, a Bible and some lube - Two to the power of love.
When Cliff saw himself, he perhaps creepily exclaimed "Daddy's Home", kissing his Lucky Lips. He begged his younger self "Please don't tease", saying he'd loved him from a distance. He implored himself to suck him off, whenever God shines a light (i.e now).
Then he traveled back to the present, sated, and decided not to do it again. "We don't talk anymore", he lamented.