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We hate you, you're not our real dad
Showing posts with label Tweed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tweed. Show all posts
TWEED: I WASN'T BEING DISRESPECTFUL
"When I thought about brave Jade, I was awash with grief...so I thought I'd have a wash in this handy hot tub"
SIMPLE JACK
It's not fair, I want to be a stepfather to little Bobby and Jack.
But not if being stepfather means I have to look after that gay bloke H from Steps : (TWEED: I DON'T WANT TO BE ENGLAND MANAGER
Jack Tweed has publicly ruled himself out of being considered for England manager, but says he's flattered by the mere idea (his mate had).
Although Tweed doesn't think he'll be venturing that way any time soon, he thinks it's a great privilege that his mates suggested it, and revealed that he's certainly open to other offers.
A source said yesterday, "Jack's England through and through and he'd love to take the job if it was offered to him, but he's concentrating on keeping his head down after his wake-up call".
SIMPLE JACK
I went to London Zoo with my pals the other day.
There were no birds with their tits out anywhere, so I went Nuts : )
SIMPLE JACK
Jack is back, and on the attack! Ok, not the attack part, your honour.
Phil and Holly were well nice to me yesterday. Wish Phil was my dad and Holy was my...mum?
PETER ANDRE: JACK TWEED CAN'T COME NEAR MY KIDS EITHER
"He hasn't asked, but I'm just saying, mate. I love those little guys"
SIMPLE JACK
I was just in Chigwell and someone shouted "There goes Jack Tweed, Therapist".
Must have me confused with someone else, I don't know nothing about therapy.
SIMPLE JACK
My lawyer told me to lay low for a while, just until the trial. But I got bored so in the end I stood up : )
SIMPLE JACK
I asked Dreams if they wanted me to do an advert for them, me carrying one of their mattresses round on my back kind of thing.
Bastards never got back to me : (
