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Showing posts with label Mitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mitch. Show all posts
SNEAK PREVIEW: MITCH WINEHOUSE'S JAZZ TRIBUTE TO AMY
"A shooby dooby dooby doo wah, doo wah,
My shooby dooby daughter is dooby dooby dooby doo-dead, doo dead"
More Mitch fun in Dark beige Radio Podcast 28, out next week
ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? MITCH WINEHOUSE ADOPTS AN AFRICAN ORPHAN
Harare - Cab driving celebrity Mitch Winehouse, on-off father to troubled chanteuse Amy, has today surprised the showbiz world by announcing his adoption of a 9 year old African boy, Kwonge.
"He's doing great, he's a lovely little fella", a clearly excited Mitch announced, "I'm bringing him back to London to start his new life". But just moments later, cracks appeared to be showing, as Mitch added: "He's got a real problem. It's a sickness. He needs help".
Jetting off to the Caribbean on a make or break holiday, Mitch begged for time for Kwonge to exercise his demons, adding "he's fine, he's better than ever".
Speaking at the launch of his new autobiography "I Don't Like to talk About It", Mitch warned Blake Fielder Civil to stay away from young Kwonge, announced a new documentary about his adoption for Living2, and asked "Amy who?" when his daughter was mentioned.
SPIKED WINEHOUSE!
Mitch Winehouse, a London taxi driver, has been found guilty of luring women into his taxi, drugging them with champagne and then sexually abusing them.
Winehouse was found guilty of 19 charges of drugging and sexually assaulting 12 women passengers. The 51-year-old carried out an 18-month campaign of terror, preying on women who were leaving bars and clubs late at night in fashionable parts of London and wanted to get home safely.
To each victim, he spun a lie about how he had won thousands of pounds on the lottery or how he had a famous daughter and invited them to toast his success with a glass of champagne, while serenading them with a big band hit.
To each victim, he spun a lie about how he had won thousands of pounds on the lottery or how he had a famous daughter and invited them to toast his success with a glass of champagne, while serenading them with a big band hit.
Many accepted, not realising that Winehouse had spiked their drinks with sedatives.
As they slipped in and out of consciousness, lying slumped in the back of his taxi, he seized his opportunity, jumping into the back of the cab to molest them and tell them about how his daughter was on the road to recovery - as long as she stayed away from that bloody Blake!
During the seven week trial, victim after victim told how they felt safe because they were stepping into a registered black London taxi. Now finally, they are safe.
As the Judge sent him down, Winehouse shouted "Keep Blake away!"
MAKING FRIENDS WITH MITCH ON TWITTER
@mitchwinehouse @DarkBeige Why do you repeat everything that i say. have you nothing to say yourself.
DarkBeige Rt @mitchwinehouse @DarkBeige Why do you repeat everything that i say. have you nothing to say yourself
6 REASONS YOU NEED TO BUY MITCH WINEHOUSE'S ALBUM
1. Morbid curiousity
2. There aren't enough bad Frank Sinatra covers albums around
3. You actually are Mitch Winehouse
4. Not enough cab drivers are making albums
5. You're a total cunt
6. Any dream will do? No, any Winehouse album will.
LIFE'S A MITCH!
Overwhelmed by the success of sci fi drama 'A Mitch in Time', ITV1 have announced a raft of further new TV projects, all featuring everyone's favourite cab driving / interview giving celebrity dad - Mitch Winehouse.
Highlights include:
Fever Mitch - Mitch takes a populist look at some of our most temperature raising illnesses.
Mitch Battle - History show with Amy's dad investigating the unknown stories behind some of British history's most iconic battles.
Filthy Mitch - Mitch gets all down and dirty as he reveals his deepest, darkest sexual fantasies.
Cross Mitch - Don't get Mitch angry! Or do. He won't do much, besides give contradictory interviews about his Amy's mental state. In this show, Mitch lifts the lid on what it is about modern life that makes him cross - minicab drivers and paparazzi beware!
When Titch Met Mitch - Alan Titchmarsh presnts the one on one interview everyone wanted but no one could get - chatting with notoriously media-shy Mitch Winehouse.
Hitch or Ditch? Or Mitch? - Dating format where a couple who seem unsure of their future together must face the ultimate question - get married, split up, or 'enjoy' a threesome with Mitch.
Abercrombie & Mitch - Everyone's favourite preppy fashion store has a new boss - Mitch Winehouse. And he's going to make some big changes...(we hope)
BeMitched - Retro sitcom starring Mitch as a secret witch living in ordinary suburbia.
7 Year Mitch - Mitch chats to some of Britain's most talented seven-year-olds, with proper supervision throughout.
COMING SOON TO ITV1 - A MITCH IN TIME!
The new semi-autobiographical sci-fi drama starring Mitch Winehouse as a man who has to go back in time to save his daughter Amy from smoking crack, in his special time machine taxi cab. Mitch thinks he has saved Amy, but hasn't, and has to travel back and forward in time to give media interviews until he can finally make right what once went wrong.
COMING SOON TO ITV1: AN AUDIENCE WITH MITCH WINEHOUSE
Live from the London Palladium, you're invited to a star studded night of old school entertainment, outrageous storytelling and sparkling wit sprinkled with a liberal dusting of showbiz magic - An Audience with Mitch Winehouse.
With a celebrity filled audience including Dale Winton, Barbara Windsort, Boyzone and Cameron Diaz, all eyes will be on Amy's dad, as he lights up the stage with his unique cocktail of ambiguous fatherhood, cab driving know how and old school charisma.
Mitch will field questions from the A-list audience, and delight them with dazzling tales:
- My Amy's fine
- No she isn't
- I don't like to talk about it
- I know a really good back route between Finsbury Park and Camden
- And many more...
Mr Winehouse will also duet with Susan Boyle on a special version of Madonna classic Papa Don't Preach.
DON'T FORGET ABOUT MY AMY!
By Mitch Winehouse
It's been a little while since my Amy's been hogging the headlines. She hasn't punched a stranger in ages. But that doesn't mean she's better, believe me. She's still a very sick girl who needs help.
Amy is fine, she's on the mend. Time away from the spotlight has done her good. She's in danger, she's doing better than ever.
There's nothing much to say, but I'm here 24/7 if you need a quote. I don't like to talk about it.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BUENOS AIRES AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?
By Mitch Winehouse, to daughter Amy
Sadly I've had to come out to St Lucia to make sure you're alright. Some of the reports and pictures from the papers back home had me a little worried. Now I'm here I can see that the sun and sea is doing you good, but there's still too many distractions. And besides, I don't really like Caribbean food.
I reckon that we- I mean you, you should think about going somewhere else to continue your rehabilitation break. Have you thought about Buenos Aires? I've heard it's a lovely, vibrant city, that could be just right for you right now.
Steaks, women and salsa...what a combination. One I've always dreamt about...you experiencing. And the whores, I've heard you can get a supermodel for less than a Subway meatball sandwich back home in Southgate.
So, anyway, maybe you should go out there, while I return to Britain and get on with my life of driving cabs and giving media interviews.
But if you should ever need me, perhaps because you've fallen off the wagon yet again, you know where I am. I can be packed and on a plane to Argentina in less than an hour. Call me.
CELEBRITIES SPEAK THEIR MINDS!
Today's burning question: Does a bear shit in the woods?
Jade Goody: It might do, if it has cancer. Like I do.
Mitch Winehouse: My poor Amy can't shit in the woods without some messed-up hanger on being there to push her drugs.
Liam Gallagher: It's top that, pal. Like Lennon and Marley, you know? Real fookin' heroes.
Russell Brand: Yes, and it showed me it's winky woo, and I sucky wucked on it, the poor fella.
John Leslie: I never went near that bear, I swear it. This is all lies.
Pope Benedict XVI: Am I a Catholic? I'm so old, I can't remember.
MY FAVOURITE MOVIE, WITH MITCH WINEHOUSE
Here Amy's media-shy poppa tells us about his love of classic 1993 comedy, Another Stakeout ("Sequel to the hilarious Stakeout" - The Sun).
People don't realise how fragile my Amy is. She's just a frightened little girl underneath all the tattoos, and crack. Maybe that's why I love Richard Dreyfus' character Chris Lecce in the Stakeout movies - he seems so tough, with his rapier moustache and hairy wit, but actually he's just a big vulnerable baby.
My Amy never could trust me growing up - daddy was baddie, if you know what I mean. We were a dysfunctional family - much like the hilarious dysfunctional family that Dreyfus, Estevez and new kid on the Stakeout block, Gina Garret from the DA's office (played by the radiant Rosie O Donnell) and her pet dog Archie make as they pose as husband, wife and son, to escape detection as they do surveillance on an endangered mafia witness.
This witness is being secretly held until the trial, when a violent attempt against her that kills several of her guards is made. She disappears and Lecce (Dreyfus) and Reimers (Estevez) are called upon due to their excellent surveillance record, to stake out a lakeside home where she is believed to be. It's a bit like those paparazzi scumbags staking out my darling Amy as she goes around buying sweets and punching strangers at 3am!
My Amy, poor Amy. Little Amy, O Amy.
I'm her dad, Mitch. I try to avoid the limelight.
More favourite movies: http://darkbeige.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-favourite-movie-with-jamie-oliver.html
