dark beige

Every week a different celeb tells us all about their favourite ever flick. This week troubled soccer star Paul Gascoigne tells us all about his love of Friday the 13th, part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan.




Scary man woken up from sleep by crackle bed, all lit up man like a Christmas winky, ya know what I mean?

The scary man finds these bairns playing sexy beggars and he cuts them up man, he cuts them reet proper.

Another load of young'uns gannen oot in a boat. Like a hoose on the water, can I buy it?

But this fella with face mask is real bad apple, and he kills folk without even any good reason, man. Doesn't even talk to them or nothing. Reet inhospitable, like.

Then they get to big light world and it's crazy man, reet hi-jinks for breakfast, ya know what I mean?




He's runnin' round with dinner cutter and smasher uppers and stuff, man. He's a mad cunt. He gets all of them, and they're all dead, except two of them, man, two that got away and that, and what they do is, what they do is they lure him, man, they kind of like lure him into a tunnel, a sewer and that, and the daft cunt follows them.





They like burn him with this green sludge, it's like mushy peas man, and the cunt's face is all burnt and shit, so the twat has to remove his mask. But suddenly the sludge is all like raining in air, and he's all drowned, the cunt. But the other two cunts escape.