Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 00:58

One man's shame

Michael Borell is a perfectly normal, middle aged, middle class man. He lives in a small but satisfactory detached house in Worcester Park, Surrey, a house he bought in 1983. He trusts the simple British elegance of a Rover, updating to the latest mid-price model every three or four years. After a long, hard day, there's nothing he likes more than relaxing with a meal of traditional English cuisine and a glass of nice red wine and watching some quality, intelligent entertainment for adults.

But Michael hides a shameful secret, one that has perturbed him for the last ten years. As refined, middle class and middle aged as he is, Michael just doesn't find Frasier that funny.

"It started back in 1994, when they started showing the first series on a Friday night" he told us. "There'd been a big buzz about it, and it was being advertised everywhere. Naturally, I couldn't wait to watch it. I'd always been a huge fan of Cheers, what a gang of misfits! That fat one who never went home, and the woman - GROWL! She could have served me a long, cold one anytime, if you follow my drift. That being said, I'd never been too bothered about Frasier, he always seemed on the edge of everything. Nevertheless, when the show started, I was as keen as the next man to laugh along to his continuing adventures."

Michael was immediately disappointed, however. He simply could not follow many of the jokes, and found himself wondering what it was all about. "It was just too clever by half. Now, I've got Bill Bryson on my bedside table, believe you me. I enjoyed Jonathan Creek, I'm no intellectual slouch. But there was so much dialogue, I lost the thread. And at no point did anyone's trousers fall down in front of visiting clergymen. I thought it was a bit of a con."

Being a man of the world, Michael naturally assumed that his personal opinion would be in line with the status quo, and looked forward to some homespun critiques with friends and colleagues over the following week. He was deeply shocked, however, to discover that it had been almost universally liked, and found himself in the awkward position of being forced to pretend that he liked it too. Michael has carried that burden to the present day.

"I just assumed it would have finished after a couple of years, I never dreamt I'd still have to go through this torment. I've tried my best over the years to get into it, but with little success. That brother, he's a bit like John Inman, which is great, but he never talks about fisting or anything like that, so it's not that funny."

Michael has now finally found a way to alleviate his pain. "I watch They Think it's All Over instead. "


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