Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 15:57

The whirlwind romance between gay musical superstar Elton John and establishment comedian and musical writer Ben Elton has taken the showbiz world by storm, including all of us here at Dark Beige towers.

The pair only met for the first time 16 days ago, at a charity function for dyslexia hosted by Geri Halliwell, where they infamously suddenly started passionately kissing on stage as Elton (Ben) presented a benevolence award to Elton (John).

The shocked showbiz crowd were soon whooping and cheering, while Mr John's partner David Furnish flounced from the room in tears and was driven away.

Since that night, he has had all of his possessions forcefully removed from the 16 residences worldwide his former love owns.

Mr Elton has now moved into John's palatial Windsor mansion and the two have been totally inseparable. Elton (John) is said to be penning a love song to the former scourge of Thatcher, but needs to wait until Bernie Taupin fully recovers from a recent hernia operation to write the words.

However, cracks have recently appeared as the two new lovers raised the prospect of marriage for the first time. An eyewitness tell us: "The two Eltons, as everyone calls them, were out for a meal at Cipriani's with a few friends, and everyone was quite drunk. Someone jokingly suggested they get married, but both were really into the idea. Then Ben said something about how Elton would obviously have to take his surname, and John just erupted!"

Apparently Mr Elton thought that Elton Elton would sound like a really cool name, and would have obvious market appeal. Whereas, Ben John, on the other hand, sounds quite stupid. But John was quite adamant that he was a far bigger star than Elton and he would have to fucking like it or lump it.

He then overturned the dining table in rage, and punched a teenage girl who was sitting at the next table.

Mr Elton (Ben) thus accepted that Mr John (Elton) was right and so now will be known as Mr John (Ben).


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