GREAT REVIEW OF THE MACHINIST FROM IMDB
A new Raskolnikov, 16 November 2006
Author: Vincentiu from Romania
A strange story about freedom and guilty. Modern image of "Crime and Punishment". Our life like a shadow of the dreams and fear. Like a research a way of personal truth. No salvation, no cure. Only a refuge in a great lie. This movie is an important experience. Not like a theoretical experience,like a game without value, like a joke. "The Machinist " is a trip in your mind, in your memory, in the life's essence. "I am the other" said Rimbaud. But who? A ghost? A shadow? A body? A toy? The essence of movie is the relation with the world and the form of honesty. The presence of God in this movie is the way of resurrection. The car, the boy, the work accident, Maria, Ivan , Miller are the steps of a very special salvation. And Christian Bale, in his best character, a new Raskolnikov, know to give a great sense of truth to Trevor Reznik. A real master-piece!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361862/usercomments
DAVID'S MILLI BAND!
Underfire foreign secretary David Miliband has revealed that he unwinds from the stresses and strains of politics by performing in a Milli Vanilli tribute band.
LEE RYAN TO HAVE A WANK LIVE ON BBC THREE
To highlight the issue of testicular cancer, or something.
BIG UP TO SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH
Got to give respect to this amazing comedy - funny, dark and touching. Chris Lilley is the Australian Coogan.
Catch the whole series on Saturday on BBC Three if you missed it, or here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00c4xjx?src=ip_potpw
"I didn't say fuck you, I said puck you, sir"
MAN SEXUALLY EXCITED BY ENTERING DIFFERENT NON-SOVEREIGN GEOGRAPHIC AREAS
He comes with the territory.
HOMOSEXUAL RADAR MACHINERY HAS STRONG GAYDAR
"Couple of ships coming in at bearing 7.65, all straight as an arrow, more's the pity. That one in the middle is fit!
But this warplane bearing in fast at bearing 3.45 is quite the dancer!
Erm, hello?!!!!! What DOES that missile think it looks like?!!I mean, pleeeaaase".
MY 9 YEAR OLD GRANDSON LOVES IT
By the Werthers Original man
I can still remember the first time he tried it. It was a wonderful, sunny afternoon three years ago, and my daughter had left him in my care. He's a wonderful little boy but he seemed a little tired and subdued that day, so I thought he needed a little treat to cheer him up.
I called him over with a sly grin, and asked if he was ready to be a big boy. I told him there was something special he needed to try if he wanted to be like his older brothers and his father before him.
The lad seemed a little apprehensive, so I reassured him that my own grandfather had done what I was about to do to him to me, and I had certainly never regretted it. I said that it could be a little funny at first, but he'd soon get to love it.
The tyke seemed reassured, so I called him over and sat him on my lap. Telling him to close his eyes and open his mouth, I slowly but excitedly unwrapped the smooth shaped treat from its tight packaging.
Once I held it naked in my hands, I carefully placed it in his mouth, and told him to suck it. This he did, as I watched excitedly, so keen to see the look of delight on his little face as he tasted that heavenly flavour for the first time.
After grappling with it contentedly for a few minutes, he swallowed the sweet treat down and looked up at me gratefully. "I love it, grandad" he said. We haven't looked back.
ON THE BREAD LINE
CREDIT CRUNCH * CREDIT CRUNCH * CREDIT CRUNCH
The CREDIT CRUNCH is even hitting Britain's legions of recreational drug users hard - meaning they've had to STOP SNORTING COCAINE and START SNORTING BREAD.
"A gram of coke usually costs 50 quid, whereas a sliced white family loaf is only 52p at ASDA" a source said. A new underground scene has emerged around the fibrous drugs' popularity in east London, and the now legendary "Bap Sessions" in Shoreditch. New dance styles like Belgian Breadstep and Speed Granary have also grown in popularity, with Lily Allen apparently a big fan.
Police have promised zero tolerance on the drug and have raided many fashionable bars to sweep toilet surfaces for telltale crumbs. "Anyone found selling bread to anyone will be prosecuted", they warned.
AWESOME NEWS
Anchorman 2 apparently happening. http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/07/anchorman-2.html
A QUESTION NO-ONE'S EVER ASKED THEMSELVES
"Why is John Barrowman gay?"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7523567.stm
Next week: Why is Will Smith black?
WEATHERMAN REPORTS "SPITS AND SPOTS"
BBC weatherman Dan Corbett has unfortunately been spat at by a boy, and suffered an outbreak of acne on his chin.
SEAN CONNERY'S SINGLES NIGHT OVERRUN WITH SHINGLES SUFFERERS
"What'sh going on? I shaid shingles night, not shingles night!"