dark beige

Thursday 23rd April, 7.14pm

School wasn't so bad today. That ass Mr Bronson was away so geography was cancelled. He hasn't been in yet this term, and the rumour is, he's got AIDS. A rumour started by Randy.

I ain't buying it. Mr Bronson is way too boring to be having sex with anyone, gay, straight, animal or whatever. And don't give me none of that sharing needles shit, either. Can you imagine Mr Bronson getting high? I bet he doesn't even eat cholesterol, the great big asshole.

Anyways, I've been thinking about a few things in life that piss me off and get an epic fail:



In that lame Destiny's Child track Survivor that chicks are always digging, Beyonce promises that "I'm not going to diss you on the internet", because, and I quote, "my mama taught me better than that". Now, not being funny or nothing, but WHEN did her mom teach her this noble moral lesson? When she was a little kid? How did her mom even know about the internet? Was she some kind of IT pioneer who was there at its birth? Or did she travel back and forward through time to ensure that this lesson from the future could be learned in the past, like a gay terminator?

Or maybe she just had a hunch about the whole thing. "If one day, someone should invent some kind of technology that allows people to communicate through computers on some kind of, I don't know, 'world wide web', please don't be tempted to use this amazing technology just to spread lies and insults about your former friends turned rivals". The whole thing just smells fishy to me.



How come celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna are always trying to buy more babies from Asia and Africa? And when is one of THEIR celebrities gonna try to buy one of ours in revenge? Those Bollywood assholes must have money. They should adopt some kid called Kevin from Cincinnati, or something. Then what would people say?



How come when Harrison Ford marries a woman over 30 years younger, it's cool, but when my uncle Ron was caught with that girl in Seattle, everyone went nuts? Hypocrites. Ron is like, ancient. He's at least 40, so it should be cool. But no, because he never starred in Hollywood Homicide, it's all "off to jail for you, Ron".



Who is this Lady GaGa? Where did she come from? Did they invent her in a factory of total ass? She looks like one of those old mannequins you'd find in a dumper, with fire damage. And yet she's at number one in the charts, and I'm sitting here in my room writing this.



How come if you act like an asshole like 99% of the time, but are all sweet and nice the other 1%, chicks will dig you and say "ah, he's a sweetie really, he's not so bad" and end up wanting to bone, whereas if you're just that nice guy who's not an asshole and is cool all the time, they'll call you boring? But then if you do try to act like an asshole, they'll say that they didn't know the real you, and now they do, they don't like it? It makes me angry.