Friday June 12th, 7.34pm
So, the worst thing of all time has happened. Even worse than that double date with that bitch Lisa Hames. Call it my personal 9/11. My mom has told me that I HAVE to get a job this summer!
It's sickening, clearly. I mean, what possible job could I possibly find that won't suck total ass? At the mall? In a shoe shop or some shit? Having to stick Todd Johnson's sweaty foot in a new brogue? Forget about it!
And don't try and sway me with all that fast food bullshit, neither. Yeah, so you might get some free KFC, but can you imagine how degrading it would actually be to have to arrange some fried chicken in a cardboard bucket for some other retard to enjoy? I AM that retard! I ain't never going to cross the line.
Nope, it's not looking good for me. I'm only 16 so I'm still too young to bone for a living, more's the pity, unless I want to get into some weird ass Uncle Ron shit.
Life blows.
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