Posted by Posted by Dark Beige On 20:02

Wednesday 8th July, 4.46pm

Bored. Been doing nothing all day but watching TV and looking at chicks walking past the house. Still, beats working. I'm still on this Twitter website (, but I want more followers. If you're not following me, these are some of the great moments you've missed:

I really wanna bone Hermione from Harry Potter, and I don't care who knows it...Your favourite Steve McQueen movie is junior BONnER...I watched that Black Rain movie. What a con - there were no black people in it. Everyone was Asian. More of a yellow rain, racists might say...He may be from Gary, Indiana, but MJ's favourite town is Boise, Idaho...I'm surprised Madonna hasn't gone and died to steal the limelight today. The old crow...Why are the Spanish always doing stupid festivals with bulls and tomatoes and shit? It's not cool, it's gay...My buddy Saul Rosenberg lives in the French Alps. He's a mountain Jew...Tamiflu sounds like tammy flow, which sounds rude...Jacko's ghost spotted in some footage, molesting a younger ghost...I might go to LA for the Jackson funeral. Not because I care, just to bone distraught chicks...No one wants Federer to win, because he's Swiss. They're neutral about the whole thing...Do all athletes look like date rapists? Based on Michael Phelps and Andy Murray, I'm saying yes...I'm like a Columbo for date rapists...I'm having a hot flush. I'm Mener-pausal...Happy independence day? Nope, that movie sucks ass...Andy Murray is gay. He likes to BALL boys...A gay dinosaur has a bronto-sore ass...Been watching Star Wars. I think C3PO could be gay...Rip Torn has a cool name. Like Look Seen or something...Who the fuck is this Mollie Sugden? Was she boning Karl Malden? Maybe that's what killed them both. Maybe he used his nose...It's aboot time we showed Canada more respect...Is Jack Klugman dead?...I've borrowed iconic singer Ms Holiday's denim pants. I've got Billie's jeans lol...Acne on back = backne. Acne on a black guy = blackne...I bet Harry Potter does a Saved by the Bell and has Ron come back as a teacher for a new class...Randy said "Jeff Goldblum's dead" I said "who?" he said "that boner from Jurassic Park". But it's not even true...Whenever I hear the phrase pedophile ring I picture a bunch of creepy men standing in a circle...I think Randy might be autistic. He's got ASSperger's syndrome...Got a headache. need an ASSpirin...I want an iPhone. I also want an iBone...Ever notice how all pedophiles look the same? Has there ever been a handsome pedophile?...If I had to bone Megatron to get to Megan Fox, I would, though God knows how you actually bone a giant robot...Watch out earth, here comes an ASSteroid...I hate it when people refer to celebrities by their first name: "Tom and Katie", "Brad and Angelina" etc. Just call them "Mr and Mrs Ass"...Just think, in 2020, they'll be doing an ironic big screen Grays Anatomy remake...


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1 Comment

  1. Grinsandbears Said,

    You're unBEARable

    Posted on 10 July 2009 at 02:10


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