dark beige

So there I was, waiting in the audience as Scrantley Benaheim took the stage. He walked on to fanfare and wild applause, with the Pet Shop Boys' "Let's Make Lots of Money" blaring from the speakers.

Part of me was roused by the whole occasion, but the other part was burning with anger and rage. Who the hell did he think he was?

So I sat there for a whole hour listening to him as he churned out uplifting lies about "reaching your potential" and "being who you want to be", just waiting for my moment. Then finally, my chance came.

"Any questions?" Benaheim asked, and as the small Asian woman paced the auditorium with a hanging boom mic, I almost meekly lifted my arm. But when that giant amplifying phallus was hanging just a few metres from my face (the first time that's happened, and that's a promise!), I knew what I had to say.

TO BE CONTINUED