Brighton: 27 year old Mark Phillips found himself deeply conflicted upon hearing that former love of his life Sarah Jones, 26, had tragically been killed by a stampede of cattle in Argentina.
Mark was saddened to hear that the girl he had once wanted to spend the rest of his life with's own life had been so unexpectedly shortened in the freak accident, but couldn't help also wondering what the hell she was doing in Argentina anyway, and exactly how much fun she had been having without him.
"Poor Sarah, I hope she didn't suffer", he told friends, while secretly adding to himself "the spoilt bitch, typical of her to be swanning around South America while the rest of us actually have to work for a living".
"I just hope she's finally at peace", he told close friends", "and not having more fun than me in heaven".
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