RAOUL MOAT, CONCRETE DOORMAN WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OF
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re with Raoul Moat,
This doorman will make you feel brand new,
Red face will inspire you,
Lets here it for Raoul Moat,
Raoul Moat,
Raoul Moat
DO YOU LIKE ATHLETICO MADRID, BRIAN MCFADDEN? IS THAT YOUR FAVOURITE MADRID TEAM?
"No. That's not Real to me"
LOCKERBIE BOMBER AL MEGRAHI: I'LL DIE WHEN TOWNSHEND RELEASES HIS BOOK
"It could be another 10 or 20 years"
ALAN YENTOB FACEBOOK TRIBUTE PAGE TAKEN DOWN
But Siobhan O'Dowd says her page – titled RIP Alan Yentob You Legend – could be launched again soon
The social networking site said it had not removed the RIP Alan Yentob You Legend page, which attracted more than 30,000 contributions and the condemnation of David Cameron in the Commons. The prime minister described Yentob as a smug prick and terrible interviewer.
The page's creator, Siobhan O'Dowd, deleted it voluntarily as a public backlash grew. She said she was considering whether to revive the page. Asked why she removed it, she said: "I don't know really. A few of us came to a decision but it's going to be up again running. We don't condone what he did, as what he did was wrong. I feel sorry for the families but he was still a human being at the end of the day."
SIMPLE JACK
It's not fair, I want to be a stepfather to little Bobby and Jack.
But not if being stepfather means I have to look after that gay bloke H from Steps : (NEW MEL GIBSON TAPE SCANDAL!
"You’re a fucking mentally deprived idiot...you’re a fucking using whore…I own you. You don’t count. Why can't you be more like that fat funny fuck James Corden? His World Cup Live show was fuckin' funny, you bitch!"
HORNE CRITICAL OF CORDEN DEATH
TRAGIC...COULD IT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED?
James Corden's spiritual brother criticises police for refusing him access to the roly poly laugh machine who he was "powerless to help" during a stand-off which ended in the chubby comic's apparent suicide.
Mat Horne said today he was angry with police for refusing to allow him to talk to his old pal James Corden during a tense six-hour stand-off with police which began on Friday night. Mr Horne, who said he had not seen his pal "since that awful sketch show", saw on the television news that police had cornered him on Friday after a six-day manhunt. Corden was wanted for presenting a really smug and unfunny World Cup show, being everywhere and looking so pleased with himself. Then to add insult to injury, posh old actor Patrick Stewart insulted his weight, something retiring Corden was notoriously shy over, and uncomfortable with talking about.
The brown haired actor said he immediately contacted the police as he believed he could talk his mate out of causing more unfunny bloodshed. "I wanted [police] to get me up to that cordon / Corden," Mr Horne said. "He's my brother, I wanted to talk him down there. I wanted to get him down from there and bring him in without any further bloodshed." He added: "When I saw him on the TV - he was a broken man, he wasn’t a lovable tubby joker, he was a broken man.
I know now he was sobbing about his lack of fans, how people didn’t love him - it breaks my heart to see that because I loved him to bits, he was my brother. I wanted to go up to Corden, I wanted the police to get me up there."
He said Northumbria Police rebuffed his offer as they were apparently concerned it might unlock memories of Lesbian Vampire Killers which would exacerbate the situation. Instead he watched live on television as Corden, 32, shot himself dead.
Rob Brydon also offered to go and reason with him but said police did not get back to him.
MOATGATE: NEW LETTER FOUND
"Dear Santa, can I have some more steroids and me wife back and all coppers dead? I promise I'll be a good boy this time.
Love Raoul
xxx"
MARK CROFT ARRESTED IN CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY
""I look nothig like that fookin' ugly cunt Raoul Moat...though I would like to shoot that fookin bitch Kerry. Actually, get me some pen and paper, pig, I need to write a 47 page letter..."
SMUGNESS LEVELS SOAR IN RECORD SUMMER
Smugness cases are expected to rocket early next week and this year could be one of the worst on record for sufferers, experts warned last night.
Recent events including the Glastonbury festival, that episode of Doctor Who with Van Gogh, the launch of the iPad and now the reversal of the decision to axe 6 Music are to blame for record levels, the highest since the Britpop scene of the mid 90s.
Further suffering for the nation's 12 million smugness sufferers will be brought by the release of The Wire on Blu Ray.
I LOVE SMOKING
By Duncan Bannatyne
Hi kids, I'm the smokesman- I mean spokesman of the coolest new fad - smoking! All the cool kids are doing it, and you should too, if you want to be cool. Cool as me.
I'm always in an ash cloud, even when I'm flying, and that's how I like it. If you want to be cool like me and run a gym and tell people their ideas are shit, you need fags. Seriously.
Are you too scared or something? Get chuffing, you little prick! Right, that's it, i'm out. I hope you fail.
