THE CONTINUITY IRA



"We're going to keep bombing until historical inaccuracies like this one are eradicated"



TAKE THAT ARE REFORMING!



It's the news everyone was waiting for - Take That are finally back!

The much loved boyband bowed out at the very top of their powers back on March 13th, when they performed at Comic Relief. Now after much soul searching, and time away from the spotlight to pursue solo projects, the awesome foursome are back, with an amazing new performance planned for March 28th, where they will kickstart a massive whirlwind publicity tour for their comeback with a concert spectacular.



As for whether Robbie will rejoin the band on stage...watch this space!

DR DRE STILL JUST DIPPING THROUGH LA IN HIS CAR, LOST


WHERE THE HELL AM I?

1992: Now let the Chevrolet slide, as I dip a nigga trip to the south side, yeah

Rollin in my six-fo', Check this out

The sun went down when I hit Slausson on my way to the strip, now I'm just flossin

Check in my rearview, cause niggaz they will do jack moves


1999: Clip in the strap, dippin' through hoods (what hoods?)

Compton, Long Beach, Inglewood!

South Central out to the Westside (wessyde)

It's California Love, this California bud got a nigga gang of pub


2009: They see that low rider go by they're, like Oh my!

You ain't got to tell me why you're sick cuz I know why.

I dip through in that six trey like sick em Dre.

I'm an itch that they can't scratch, they're sick of me.

But hey, what else can I say? I love LA.

I HAD AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE




I had to arrange caterers, flowers, guest arrivals, entertainment and much more.

BBC LAUNCHES SPECIAL DIET VERSION OF THE APPRENTICE



Starring Sir Alan Splenda

MISO HORNY



"God, it's been a while"

MARLEY AND M.E



Bob Marley's ultra laidback, lazy persona was not infact down to heavy marijuana consumption, as previously thought. It was because he suffered from M.E, the so called "reggae flu".

BOB MARLEY AND THE WHALERS





They're big in Jahpan

SALT AND SHEIKH



African American singer Cheryl James, better known as "Salt" from top 80s rap act Salt N Pepa has announced her engagement to Sheikh Sabah Al Sabah of Oman. "We're so in love", she shared.

JULIAN CASABLANCAS SUFFERS A MILD STROKE



"Is this actually ironic or not? I'm not totally sure. I really don't want to be tarred with that whole Alanis Morissette brush by bloggers at this already difficult time"


HOW DO MUSLIM BUTCHERS GREET CUSTOMERS?



"Halal, what can I do for you?"

POLE DANCERS


THIS WEEK IN OK! - JADE'S FIRST INTERVIEW FROM HEAVEN



Speaking to the magazine by Max Clifford approved ouija board, the sad star reveals all about life on the other side:




* I was a bit scared at first, but everyone's been really nice.

* The food is great but you can't get a good English cuppa.

* Everything's all white and cloudy, so I'm glad I had my teeth done.

* Jack hasn't tried to talk to me yet. Jackie has but I can't make out what she's saying.

* I'm going out for lunch with Paul Newman, Heath Ledger and Benazir Bhutto next week.

POPEYE'S DAD SADLY PASSES AWAY AT 90



The normally tough but inarticulate cartoon sailor is said to be "devastated", and has asked for some time for him and Olive Oyl to grieve alone.

R.I.P JADE GOODY



There have been jokes here (16), but it is still sad. She was 3 years younger than me.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7957852.stm

STREWTH, MATE



Mass biker brawl with metal poles at Sydney airport.

COMEDY DOUBLE ACTS WAITING TO HAPPEN


T & Kofi


Black and Decker


Church and Temple



Fry and Bacon (AKA "Fried Bacon")


Craig and David





Cordon and Blur

THE REAL PIGEON DETECTIVES



"So, when did you say you last saw your wife?"


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