In January my baby was born so I didn't pay too much attention to other stuff.
But the final Celebrity Big Brother wowed the nation, where Vinnie Jones was revealed to be a total bellend. And it snowed yet again, despite a Facebook campaign to make it stop, while Peter Andre went on a shooting spree in a school, because he loves kids.
In February, disaster struck in Haiti, David Cameron appealed to as many voters as possible, Stephen Fry was given listed status, and Ashley Cole revealed a talent for rubbish excuses, as every footballer going had a sex scandal.
In March, even cryin' Peter Andre was exposed as a hypocrite, Turbo B from Snap got a job as a doctor, Mitch Winehouse adopted an African orphan and Jack Tweed starred in the picture of the year.
In April, Cleggmania briefly gripped Hollywood (hindsight is a bitch), Jimmy from 911 agonised over whether he was to blame for nine eleven, while Josef Fritzl's famous "file that made him smile" got everywhere. Gentle Ben was revealed as a rapist and a woman gave birth to a potato.
In May, election fever reached a crescendo, and the Sun went for a misjudged cover. Mark Croft admitted he was fucking his cars, and famous Russells faced off at Rusell Mania, while Vinnie Jones lamented the sad loss of Dennis Hopper, who he never met.
In June, two dead celebrities started a drum and bass night in heaven, and Glastomania took hold.
Come back tomorrow for part 2, and the summer of one very special red faced doorman of hearts - Raoul Moat...